An Illogical Approach to Sanity

In the name of rock n' roll, I will punish you!

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 07:08:45 GMT

Title: GazettE Star Power!
Comments: I'm trying to change my drawing style a bit, so I find myself experimenting a lot with different things. Like doing it all in ink, including shading. Eh, not sure if I like it, but it's something to consider in the future. These three lovely boys were drawn as three separate ones and I just uploaded them as one. Hmm what else... I've been inspired by my "mentor" or sorts lately. We're doing a Sailor Moon cosplay in a couple weeks, actually, which should bring back fond memories. ~~Now that I look at Reita and compare it to my Gazette poster...his hair is a bit large.~~ Eh, that's okay :D

Since this is my first time attempting to post images, I'll post what I believe to be a thumbnail link sort of thing as well as a link in case the thumbnail doesn't work.

thumbnail:
[URL=http://img440.imageshack.us/i/sailorgazetterau.jpg/][IMG]http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2069/sailorgazetterau.th.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

link:
http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/2069/sailorgazetterau.jpg

Writer's Block, Smooches, and Early-Morning Meals.

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 13:21:27 GMT

Well, I guess I saw this coming. I find that I have a lot of trouble writing when I'm even kinda sad (shouldn't it be the other way around?! God, I can't even write angst when I'm depressed -_-) Truth is, I'm missing someone so much right now. She's on her way to the airport as I write this, and I probably won't ever see her again... and I think I just kissed her when saying goodbye o_O Well there goes a few years of keeping my feelings bottled up. So even though I haven't posted any fics for a while, it looks like I won't be posting anything for another while. Unless I have some strange, abnormal burst of enlightenment. In which case, sure, I'll write. lol. This kinda infuriates me because I have about seven fics started (like a half page on microsoft word) and no inspiration to complete them.

I realized pretty recently that I fricken suck at creating titles. So in order to practice, I shall title all my entries starting...NOW.

Sorry if my thoughts seem a bit scattered, I just pulled an all-nighter with no caffeine nor sugar. Aaaaaall Natural.
Oh hey, looks like it's about 6 in the morning. Breakfast time, I suppose :D

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 08:26:44 GMT

Maybe it's because I'm listening to slower music than usual, and maybe it's because I've been watching "Shark Week" on the discovery channel for a couple days, but I'm really glad I'm alive XD

On a side note:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HANNAH. I know you don't have an LJ (or maybe you do and you're keeping it from me!) but I know you'll see this eventually :D

And because she's basically my Uruha muse, I'm currently working on a ReitaXUruha fic...
while, of course, unwillingly imagining Aoi with boobs. I'm not sure why that's happening, really.

I just realized that I completely spaced out through the entirety of a Dir En Grey song.

The girl singing the song that I'm listening to right now ("Before Curtains Close" by Jackie Nicole) is incredible. If I have my facts straight, I do believe she's going to be an 8th grader in the coming year, and of course she's from my home town or else I wouldn't even know about her. She composes all her music herself and she was even identified as one of the top child composers and performed at one of the more well-known theatres here in Portland. I just can't get over it XD I love it when I hear about these kind of talents, especially when it involves a kid. God, it seems like just yesterday that I was one. Crazy how time passes.

Sorry about the relatively long post :D Back to writing, I guess.

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 09:11:23 GMT

This journal was never meant to get personal. I created it with the purpose of letting people actually see what I write, and I think the only thing that makes me comfortable with it is knowing that none of you know me in real life. I'm so fucking pissed off and a little depressed right now that I really need an outlet. So it's two o'clock in the morning, and I'm going to rant. Only reason I'm doing it on here is because no one will judge me, because no one knows me. Oh look, I'm rambling now.

Please ignore this if you're just going to give me crap about it.

This family...
has no benefit to me
and leaves me crying myself to sleep as my sister speeds away in her fiance's car.
Somehow, I still love them more than I probably should; more than my head really wants to allow me.
I love every non-virgin 13 year-old cousin,
every lying, cussing daddy,
every mostly insane mother who refuses to take her meds,
every drug-addicted aunt and uncle,
and every grandfather who only says nice things when he's about to die.
And I know they all love me.
Little messed up, fibbing, manipulative, failing, sassy smartass me.
Which leaves the question...
why the hell am I still crying?
Because this is fucking messed up.

Vamps at the Hawthorne

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 06:19:18 GMT

Well tonight...I saw Vamps live. Twas amazing. I never actually realized how incredible that bassist is (and I'm totally jealous of his 5-strings. Jesus.). Hyde, as usual, was a complete hottie, and of course, a sensual, passionate performer. I'm glad he did some of his solo stuff and I wasn't expecting them to play a Beatles song! I like K.A.Z. too XD I'm soooo pissed that they didn't allow cameras in there; it's too bad. I was right there.

All in all, we got some funny moments (Hyde saying "It's fucking hot!" and my dad getting his manpurse rejected.) and we got some amazing music. They're welcome in Portland anytime XD Twas a blast.

I suppose I'm off to watch Moonchild now, just so I can giggle and fangirl over it a bit.

All I Can Do 4/4 Complete (FINALLY)

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 10:02:03 GMT

Title: All I Can Do (4/4)
Author: Meeee.
Pairing: ReitaXRuki
Genre: Romance, Smutties (for this chapter..)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Smut, language
Comments: Well YEY. I'm so glad that I'm done with this series. It didn't come out anything like I planned it in the beginning, and I'm sorry, but I don't really have very much smut inspiration lately XD To tell the truth, I haven't written smut in foreeeever. So I guess I'm back now, but I have chronic writers block that comes and goes. Ummm...happy reading? :D

"I wish for forever. Forever with you, my one, my other half. You should know by now that that's all I could ever wish for; all I could ever do. Come on, Ruki, I love you."

But Ruki wouldn't listen to me. He just turned away from me, taking the sheets with him. He had always been welcome in my bed, and I'm glad he had decided to stay with me tonight, no matter how angry he was. I guess it was a sign to me that everything would be okay. I knew it would be.

"Saying you love me doesn't always cut it, okay?" He sighed, tossing the crumpled sheet in my direction without turning his body at all. "Ever think that maybe we shouldn't be together?"

"Nope."

"Yeah, me neither." At that point, he finally turned around and hugged me tightly. "I guess I can forgive you for now since I have to deal with you for the rest of my life."

I grinned at him as I kissed him on the top of the head. He was just so cute sometimes.

"And god, Reita, being mad at you isn't any fun. I mean, when you do something stupid, I'm not allowed to kiss you."

"Oh? And I bet you're not allowed to do this either." I teased as I pushed him under me, placing kisses on his bare belly. Ruki always wore pants to bed, no matter how many times I suggested that he sleep naked. Not that I'm a pervert, I just think it's more comfortable. Pulling on the brightly-colored purple drawstrings, I licked at his nipple, which had become pointed in his aroused state.

"Mmm Reita. Hurry up."

I looked down at my boyfriend, pausing in all my ministrations. "But Ruki, we just started. And besides, if you want, I can take you more than just once tonight."

"Whatever you want, just hurry up! Do you know what it's like to go through an entire day without being touched by you?!"

"Actually, yes."

"For a smartass, you're slow." Ruki chuckled darkly before changing our positions so that he was straddling my bony hips with my cock prodding at his fabric-covered thigh.

"Hey Reita, you're hard."

I grinned up at him sheepishly, only a little caught off guard. Grabbing his prominent hardness, I declared, "Hey Ruki, you're hard too."

He smirked, stripping off his pajama pants as I grabbed his beautiful naked ass cheeks, pulling us even closer together in the process. And finally, Ruki leaned down to kiss me, taking complete control of my body just by using his tongue against mine. We liked to share the dominance in our relationship even though he was always the one taking it. He liked to say that I wasn't man enough to be fucked. Which is strangely ironic. His tongue lashed at my bottom lip for a second or two before sealing our open mouths against each other once again. I adored kissing Ruki.

As our lips continued, he began moving his tight little butt against my hips, allowing me to groan into his mouth. Almost taking that as a cue to move on, the vocalist began nipping at my neck, paying extra attention to the places I knew there were freckles. I never really understood why he did that, but I can't say I didn't like it more than I probably should have.

Just as I was getting lost in the sensation of his wet tongue against my flesh, he stopped abruptly, whispering so sensually in my ear that it sent chills down my neck. "Your turn."

I was a little bit disappointed, but this was finally my turn to please Ruki, something I wanted to do for years to come.

Instead of swapping our positions again, I decided to pull his hips up closer to where my neck was so that I could do something I know he had been wanting me to do for quite a while now. I licked at the head of his moist cock, making him whimper so lightly I barely heard it. I wanted him to moan louder, more passionate. I wanted to make him do it. Sucking in the whole length, I ran my tongue from the base of the shaft to the very tip, feeling even more liquid seep from the head.

"Oooh Reita, finger me while you do that."

I grinned around his length, trying hard not to giggle (choking might have ruined the mood a little bit.). Sticking my fingers by his mouth, he sucked on them in the same manner that I was sucking on him until they were adequately wet.

He moaned loudly and rubbed his nipples as I pushed two fingers in while still licking at the cock in front of me.

"Oh, baby, that's so good! Oh g-god, faster."

And I obeyed, pushing them in and pulling them out so fast that my entire hand blurred.

"Tell me how it feels, Ruki," I hissed.

He screamed my name and started laughing weakly in between his pleasured sounds. "I-if you do this for a-another 3 seconds, I'm going to c-come!"

So I tried to time it for another 2 and a half seconds before I stopped completely. "What would you like me to do now, Ruki-sama?"

He stood up, trying to catch his breath as he bent over the dresser, displaying his glorious ass to me. "Fuck me."

I gaped at the overall godly sexiness that he seemed to radiate, moving toward him.

He repeated, "Fuck me." Ruki pushed his butt cheeks back against my cock, eagerly waiting.

Taking the base of my cock in hand, I pushed into him fast and hard, knowing that he likes it that way. Until then, I had been untouched, but I knew I wouldn't last long either way. Ruki just had this effect on me. He was like an orgasm in human form.

"Come on, Reita, harder!" Ruki moaned through clenched teeth.

And, of course, I obliged, pounding into him so hard that his butt cheeks took on a redish color.

"Oh fuuuck, Reita, I'm going to come."

Without even thinking twice, I reached around to his cock and gripped it so that he couldn't release. "I thought we already talked about this, I w-want to see your face when you come."

Ruki, close to tears from his denied orgasm, simply nodded his head. I felt really bad about causing him pain, so I picked him up and laid him on the bed softly. He wrapped his legs around me at the same time that his hand stroked my shaft and guided it into his entrance.

"Let me come this time, okay?"

"Okay," I breathed a moment before the temptation to kiss his lips became too much to handle. So I did it. I kissed him long and passionately, not only hearing, but feeling his moans and whimpers vibrate through my body. And that was enough to push me over the edge, releasing my seed into his body. I could feel him trembling against me as I was riding out my orgasm, and I knew he was riding out his own orgasm. My god, he was so beautiful.

We both regained our breath. We both tucked each other into the sheets. And then...we both just looked at each other, repeating over and over that we love each other. I took his hand in mine, stroking my thumb against his index finger.

"Listen, Ruki. From the day I confessed to you, I never stopped wishing for forever. Not once. But now it feels like I don't have to wish anymore, because it looks like you're staying with me."

Ruki smiled.

"I can't promise that everything will always feel like this, but I'll promise you all my love any day that you want it. It's the least I can do."

"I'll promise you the same." He kissed me softly, and then he thought for a moment. "The least you can do? Well I'll give you everything...and show you all I can do."

Sun, 19 Jul 2009 07:00:18 GMT

Oh dear, I've been gone for a really long time o_o Oopsies. I'm sorry to anyone who might have been waiting on the last chapter of All I Can Do...Needless to say I got a bit caught up in my summer. I'm just about to start writing the 4th (and final) chapter. And then I'm BACK and I'll start more fics. Hopefully. Seems like I always get distracted XD

blegh.

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 02:04:31 GMT

I'm sorry to say that I won't be on for the next few days and I am unable to respond to new comments at this moment. I'll come back soon. Promise.

All I Can Do - ReitaxRuki - 3/4

Thu, 22 Jan 2009 05:35:38 GMT

Title: All I Can Do (3/4)
Author: aquachism
Genre: romance
Warnings: language, smut in last chapter
Rating: PG-13 for now.
Pairing: ReitaxRuk
Summary: Ruki remembers all it took to get to this point.
Comments: ...Are my chapters too short?

All I Can Do (3/4)

Y'know Reita... some day I'm just going to lose it. You're so lucky that all I can do is love you. You know that, right?

I was sicker than a dog for a week after that day...It gave me time to think. Almost like torture, you visited me every day, blabbering constantly of this mystery woman you were obviously devoted to. I remember each detail. The first day, you talked about her hair and her eyes. The way they both glisten in the sunlight and such. The second day, you told me that you loved the way she smiles, that it just brightens your day every time you see it. The third one, you said she likes your music, even when it's horrible. The fourth day, you spoke of how cool she was, how she was like a buddy, but so much more. The fifth day, Kai gave me a sleeping pill. When I woke, there was a fresh mug of tea on my nightstand. The sixth day, I wondered how much more of this I could take when you started talking about her singing voice. I could sing too, right? What made her so much god damn better than me? And finally, the seventh day, my nose had finally stopped running. And you dropped the biggest bomb of all.

"I want to spend the rest of my life by her side." That's what you said.

Do you even realize how much you just made me want to quit the band, our dream? Don't you know how much anguish it would have taken for me to decide to give up our dream that we've been working on for years? To give up on all our fans? Of course you do. You'd understand.

The next few days after I got better, I was a robot. You never spoke of...her outside of my room and so you lost your excuse to ramble about it. It hurt. It really did. Each day, I got up, got dressed, drove to the gig, put on my costume, had them fix my makeup, played a show, licked a couple guitars, drove back to the hotel, passed out on the bed, and started the process all over again.

I toweled off the sweat dripping down my body, the last song had just ended. The shows were surprisingly therapeutic. I felt so special all the sudden, because I could scream in public. Other people couldn't.

I almost ran right into your bare chest as I rounded the corner, which scared the shit out of me by the way.

You smiled softly. It disappeared. Your eyes bore right through mine as you whispered...

"I love you." Wait what? I barely even heard you, my ears still ringing from the live we had just done. I questioned whether I had heard you right. Multiple times even. What did he say? I even looked over each of my shoulders twelve times. I know. I counted. "...Ruki? Did you hear me?" You were blushing. Since when did Mr. Manly blush? It was...cute.

I nodded slowly, not bothering to lift my feet just yet. I don't know, everything just made sense all the sudden. The mystery...woman...she was me. No, she couldn't be. You loved her. B-b-b-but if I was the mystery woman...

You...loved me. Just the way I had always hoped you would and just the way you had told me seconds before.

It seems...that you took my silence as rejection. You ran. Burst right through the exit, into that frigid air.

No. No. That's not what I had intended! Not at all! The only even remotely logical solution...was to run after you. So that's what I did, ignoring how Aoi called after me, ignoring how the remaining sweat on my face and neck just made everything colder, ignoring the fact that I probably wouldn't catch up to you. After all, you were always the athletic one.

You made me run for hours, Reita, hours. I wouldn't give up searching for you, not after a confession like that, not ever. I couldn't find you. It was dark and freezing and... I was worried. What if you died from hypothermia?! Trudging back to the building we had done our show in, I was debating whether I should call the police to help me look. Yes, help me look. I wanted to see your face as soon as possible. God damn Reita, I was scared.

I was shivering almost violently. I knew my makeup was probably badly smeared and I could feel the crustiness of my hair sticking to my skin. Disgusting. I looked like shit, didn't I?

It was dark by the time I finally found you. It was ironic that...I found you in our dressing room. Exactly where you had run out of before. You looked like such a kid, curled up on the couch, sound asleep. I guess you were just worn out, huh?

I felt obligated to stay with you. Just like you had stayed with me for that week. We're sticking together, you and me. You're stuck with me for life, Akira, because I just love you too much to ever let you go.

I pulled up a chair and sunk down into the cushions, feeling my back relax after not having sat down since before the live. I didn't have the heart to wake you up when you just looked like you were finally at peace.

I always found it hilarious that you dyed your hair blonde. To me, blonde symbolized innocence. And your black roots were appearing again, which made it look hardcore. Like a statement saying "screw you, innocence." It was so fitting of you. My tainted angel.

You stirred, but you didn't wake. Your lips fell open, releasing a sort of incoherent mumble that made me giggle. Did I hear the word “mommy”? You were such a kid.

Now for some reason, I don’t remember exactly when I dozed off. But I did. Right in that chair.

I was having another dream about you. This one was much more pleasant than the ones I had been having recently. You were there. Of course. This time, you weren’t marrying some faceless, nameless woman while I stood in the corner yelling for you. No, this felt right. I was just lounging in your arms underneath a tall, shady tree. The air was warm, summer no doubt. You weren’t even wearing your trademark nose covering, which made you somehow more human, like I could touch you now. And ironically, the more real side of you...it made me see you as a god. You ran your fingers through my hair, soothing all my senses. You had this effect on me.

“Ruki,” you whispered, grinning down at me. “Ruki.”

I closed my dream-eyes. And opened my real ones.

And there you were.

“Ruki.”

Just like in my dream, you were smiling down at me, my head in your lap. You were even stroking my hair.

“You were dreaming about me.” You grinned wider.

The only differences between this reality and the dream...there was an obvious chill to the air. That, and we were still in the dressing room. Did that place ever close? Apparently not.

“Hey...Aki,” I breathed. “I hope this means as much as it would have if I had said it when I was supposed to...but...I love you too.” I closed my eyes, fully knowing that I would find some way to stress myself out in this perfect moment. Just like I did with everything else. I wouldn’t let myself ruin this before it started. Never.

And then...

I felt silky lips against my own. Yours.

Never before had I felt so much passion in a kiss. It was like a wave that pulled me deeper into your embrace. There was no tongue in this kiss. Just raw affection flowing through my every pore. Did you feel it too?

I swear to god I almost cried. I probably would have, had I not felt so protected and safe at that very moment. You wouldn’t even let my own emotions make me cry.

When our lips finally disconnected, you held me tight. It was perfect.

You’re everything. You’ve always been.

In the past, the present, and the ever-looming future...

All I could do, all I can do, and all I’ll ever be able to do...

is love you.

All I Can Do - ReitaxRuki - 2/4

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 05:47:17 GMT

Title: All I Can Do (2/4)
Author: aquachism
Genre: Romance
Warnings: language, eventual smut
Rating: PG-13 for now
Pairing: ReitaxRuki
Summary: Ruki remembers all it took to get to this point.
Comments: My idea for the way this story is going to go has completely changed >o< Hopefully I'll be able to put it all together in the 4 chapters.

All I Can Do (2/4)

There was this one day...

where all I could do was rest. Kai wouldn't let me do anything else. Being on tour and all, well, it was exhausting. Not only that, but my resistance was down because of it. Remember when I kept sneezing into the soup that Kai made us all? He was so pissed, but you could tell that he was worried about me because he just sent me to my room and started yelling at Aoi instead. I was sick.

I spent hours just staring at my ceiling. I wasn't tired, just exhausted...if that makes any sense at all. Blegh, I hate snot. The damn stuff just wouldn’t stop flowing out of my nose. Jesus where was it all coming from?!

I was expecting to see Kai when the door opened slowly, as if the person entering was trying not to wake me, had I been asleep. It wasn't Kai. Making an effort to contain the ever so persistent hammering in my chest, (I was sure you could hear it from where you were positioned in my doorway) I wiped some...material from my nose with the inside of my sleeve. God I just felt so incredibly disgusting.

"Re--" my voice cut off, replaced with insistent coughing and heaving, which honestly, was kind of embarrassing only because you were there.

“Jesus Ru-chan.” That voice. I had dreamt about it countless times, and I had heard it take on an angry pitch, a bothered one, or like now...a gentle, soothing one. It’s like you just smoothed all the creases in my body and soul right there. You handed me a mug of green tea. I knew that the mug itself had to be hotter than the very depths of hell while the handle was just slightly warm, but still, when you extended it to me, you held onto the blazing hot part, so that I could grab the handle. You might not have meant anything by it, but that just seemed like something right out of a romance novel in my book.. Just one sip, and my throat felt so much better.

I pretended to be distracted by the steaming liquid, but don’t you worry. I’d never ignore you. You moved only slightly, plopping into that old, stained armchair right next to the bed. You were staying with me. Why?

“Reita, you could get sick.”

“Well at least it would give me an excuse to sleep in then, wouldn‘t it?” you laughed, forcing me to chuckle awkwardly

There was a long pause when you just sat there staring at the wall while I sipped my tea.

“So how are you feeling, Ruki?” First of all, you had just changed my name again. Whatever happened to Ru-chan? If you kept this up, I’d have you calling me Ruki-sama in no time at all! Second, I was back to wondering. Why were you actually staying here? You earlier justification of “well I might get sick, which means I can sleep in” really just didn’t cut it. And last...I love you.

For a second, I thought I had accidentally said that last part out loud, because you were staring at me, your eyes questioning my every move.

I remembered at that moment that you had asked a question. “I’m feeling fine,” I lied. You didn’t seem convinced, so I smiled softly, promising that I’d be fine, even if I wasn’t now. Your expression softened, but not into contentment. You looked almost...disturbed.

“...Rei, is something wrong?” I coughed. I took another swig of the tea, once again calming my throat.

You thought for a moment two before you spoke. “Have you ever loved someone so much that you just really can’t stop thinking about them for even a second of your day? And it just hurts so much because they’re way out of your league?”

I think I might have been gaping at this point. My heart dropped down into my stomach for a couple of reasons. For one, you loved someone else. I couldn’t have you. The other was because...yes I knew exactly what that kind of thing felt like...and you were right. It hurts more than anything in the world.

“Yeah I know what you mean, Rei...” My eyes were stinging. I couldn’t cry. I wouldn’t. Not in front of you. “So what about it?”

“Ruki, I think I’m in love.”

I turned away, pretending to fix my blankets as I choked down the ball of grief in my throat. “Are you going to tell me who?” I was trying to keep the bitterness and jealousy out of my voice, which resulted in the pitch coming out a bit high.

You seemed to struggle for just the right words. “Maybe eventually, Ruki.” You raised yourself from the cushions of the chair. You were going to leave me now. How appropriate. “Just know that she’s very... pretty.” As you stalked towards the door, I couldn’t even read the mess of emotions on your face. There was definately anguish there, maybe some anger...but another part looked like it was laughing at some kind of inside joke. “Feel better, Ruki. Okay?”

I smiled up at you, nodding faster than usual, hoping my face would blur and you’d miss the traces of tears in my eyes.

The door clicked shut and I surprised myself when I found that I wasn’t able to cry. It just made me more angry, because usually crying helps the pain. I guess I just laid there for a while...until, again, all I could do was rest.

Finally a new fic.

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 09:42:00 GMT

Title: All I Can Do (1/4)
Author: aquachism
Genre: romance, fluff
Pairing: ReitaxRuki
Rating: PG-13 for now.
Summary: Ruki remembers all it took to get to where he is now.
Comments: Wow, it took my about three hours to get this posted. So many copy-paste and document problems. Sheeeeesh. I appologize for shortness. Please bear with me DX

All I Can Do
What if...
all I can do is wonder? Wonder if you loved me even half as much as I completely adored you?
My heart sped up, just before you rounded that corner to face me. I knew you were there, no matter how quietly your feet fell upon the ground. A smile graced your lips, silently reassuring me that you didn't think horribly of me, like how I imagined you did sometimes. It's really a shame you had to ruin it with...
"What's up, midget?" you teased, I remember. I always remembered. Oh god how I hated that nickname. I AM NOT A FUCKING MIDGET. I felt like I really needed to make that clear, even though I knew you didn't mean it. Besides, if I ever really got annoyed, I could always just make fun of that ridiculous napkin over your nose...sorry, I didn't mean that. It's sexy. Really.
And, of course, instead of ignoring you, I had to say something.
"You're an ass, Reita." I didn't mean that either. Again, I think you knew that.
But it was exchanges like these that really made me wonder if you... liked me. More than a buddy to go drinking with at two in the morning, more than your best friend who always beats you at Super Smash Bros. I wasn't desperate for your love, I was just curious. It was the kind of love that wasn't eating me whole, the kind that wasn't something that was unbearable. After all, we were busy with our tour. And really, who in the world has time for a relationship, or even a crush when you have a tour to attend to?
Still, I couldn't help but wonder.
The rest of the band didn't help, they all somehow figured out my secret. (I got teased about that big time, by the way. I had to bitch slap Uruha when he said, "Awww the midget looooves band-aid man!") There were more than a few occasions where I was left locked in an enclosed space with you, well I'm sure you remember. You were there. To this day, I still firmly believe that I heard snickering from the other side of that retched door!
Anyway, as time went on, the more of my mind you took over. It was strange. Fanservice wasn't exactly fanservice anymore. It was...Rukiservice. I enjoyed it more than the fans ever could. And, of course, I still couldn't help but to wonder, to let my mind stray to sensual scenes starring...you. Suzuki Akira. You are the dirtiest angel I have ever seen.
After months of rubbing against you at every chance I could get (on stage and off), you had consumed my entire mindset. I noticed every little thing about you; how you had changed, no matter how little. Much to my delight, you had stopped calling me midget. Hoooray! But did you call me Ruki-sama like I had recommended all band members to address me? Well...no. You called me...Ru-chan. It was a step up from midget. And that's all that counts.
Now this is the point where I felt cautious. The sudden change in my nickname had spurred so many ideas in this twisted little head of mine. It was far too easy to convince myself that you had feelings for me. But I didn't want to get my hopes up, and that's the truth. I thought that being alone would hurt less if I accepted that you didn't feel the same way about me sooner than later. Besides, I didn't even know if you...played for the same team that I do. Get what I mean?
Each night, and even each day for that matter, all I could do was wonder.

yet another old one...

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 06:52:58 GMT

Title: Tales From the Forbidden Closet
Author: aquachism
Genre: smut, yet more attempted humor
Pairing: MiyavixKamijo(Versailles) and....Teru I guess.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: When Teru needs to borrow something from Kamijo, he ends up in an awkward situation.
Comments: This one is kind of old too. I promise I'll get something new up eventually. On my FF.net account, I've gotten a couple requests for a sequel to this one. I think I might write it soon. I also just realized that I forgot to put a summary on the other fic I posted so far DX

Tales From the Forbidden Closet

"Hizaki-chan, can I borrow your curling iron?" Teru asked, digging through his overstuffed suitcase, searching for hair products.

Hizaki shot an evil glare towards Yuki. "Well, SOMEONE dropped it in the toilet this morning while it was turned on high!"

Well damn. Their show was scheduled to start within the hour and he needed at least forty-five minutes to properly produce the perfect head of hair.

Hizaki seemed to sense his despair, and offered, "Just borrow one from Kamijo. He has a couple extra anyway." Yuki and Jasmine laughed at this comment, hizaki throwing more death glares their way.

"Arigato, Hizaki-chan!" Teru shouted in the general direction of the blonde, bolting out the door towards Kamijo's private suite located on the next floor. He had been there multiple times, so he knew exactly where it was.

When he entered Kamijo's room, however, he had no idea where to start looking for that stupid curling iron. The entire room was lit with candles and covered in a thin layer of rose petals.

"Heh, figures. Doesn't he know it's dangerous to leave this many candles lit while he's not here?" Teru whispered under his breath. He turned slowly to the open closet door, spotting Kamijo's infamous handbag sitting on the furthest shelf inside. He made his way to the closet and began shuffling through the bag. 'too many POCKETS!' He unzipped multiple gold zippers, unbuttoned matching buttons, and dug his hands so far into the retched bag that he thought that his hand might disappear. Just as his eyes set upon the shiny, bloody red curling iron, he heard the front door of Kamijo's suite burst open with an extremely loud bang.

He half expected to see a fuming Kamijo towering over him in a second, ready to steal back his precious handbag, but what really came through that door left Teru breathless, flustered, afraid, and a little turned on.

Their front man had his lips interlocked with someone elses. Another man, nonetheless. The man had a full head of long black hair that was broken up by strips of vibrant red. Tattoos adorned his chest, back, shoulders, and arms while he had a piercing on his brow line. Their kiss was rushed, hungry and full of desire that couldn't be tamed. There wasn't any kind of restrain behind it. Teru could literally feel the passion in the room overwhelm him.

Completely and utterly shocked, Teru closed the closet door swiftly, being sure to avoid any noise. He left it slightly cracked, just because he couldn't tear his eyes away from possibly the hottest scene he'd ever witnessed before.

The man groaned into the kiss as Kamijo pushed their fabric-clad hips together with very prominent bulges in the crotch.

The sounds sent shivers though Teru's petite body and straight to this groin. He was getting horribly aroused by his situation. Gods, if Kamijo ever found out, he'd be DEAD.

The two broke apart, only to catch their breath. They panted, gazing deep into eachother's eyes, frosty blue meeting chocolate brown in a sensual stare that seemed to last forever.

Teru's own sea blue orbs suddenly got a whole lot wider as he came to the realization of who Kamijo's lover was. He stared at the couple, wondering just how the guitarist of S.K.I.N., Miyavi, had ended up in the arms of the talented lead vocalist. He gasped lightly, then threw his fingers over his lips, remembering that he wasn't supposed to be watching this exchange.

Miyavi threw Kamijo against a wall, grinding their hips together repeatedly, eliciting multiple moans and whimpers from the brunette.

"Oh gods, Miyavi..."

"Hmm?"

"I hope you know how sexy you are." Kamijo barely whispered huskily, nipping the other's lip ring and licking small strokes around it.

Miyavi groaned loudly, throwing his partner onto the nearby bed that was covered with lace trimmings, and of course, red blankets. Kamijo sure had a red fetish...

Teru unconsciously palmed his ever-hardening erection, trying to ease some of the tension building in his pants which were becoming a bit too tight in the ass for his liking. He couldn't stand the idea of jacking off in Kamijo's closet, but he was too hard to really give a shit anymore.

Kamijo laid back onto the cushion of the bed, easing the tension on his back from when Miyavi pushed him into the wall. Said guitarist straddled Kamijo's hips, thrusting hard onto his bulge. He literally ripped Kamijo's shirt from his torso, tearing white frills and lace apart. Miyavi bent over his lover, licking a trail down the muscular chest displayed before him.

Kamijo threw his head back, biting his lip as his beloved encircled a pink nipple and bit it lightly before moving lower and teasing the waistband of his black leather pants with his tongue.

Kamijo laughed bitterly. "Hurry the hell up."

Miyavi grinned crookedly at him. "Don't rush the art."

"Fuck you."

Miyavi increased his grin, and whispered into his ear, "Not tonight, hun. I'm the one doing the fucking tonight." With those words, Kamijo received a small bite to his earlobe as his pants were discarded onto the floor with the remnants of his shirt. "No underwear tonight, Kami-chan?"

Kamijo laughed a little before extending his lower lip, forming perhaps the cutest pout that Miyavi had ever seen. "Well I'm naked. You aren't."

Teru sat with his back against the shelving of the closet, trying to locate the buttons on his pants without removing his eyes from the scene before him. He found one, and flipped it open. Two more to go.

"Well what do you want me to do about that, Kami-chan?"

"I want you to take these retched clothes off. NOW."

"Well, if you insist." Miyavi pulled off his white t-shirt and threw it in the ever-growing stack of clothes. He leaned down to capture Kamijo's lips once again, but Kamijo put his index finger to Miyavi's lips.

"Pants too. And undergarments." he said, kissing miyavi's cheek quickly.

Miyavi sighed, but complied nonetheless. Jeans were removed as well as the black boxers concealed beneath. Kamijo's only thought was that his lover was very excited.

Teru found the second button and snapped it open quickly.

Now at this moment, the matter of lubrication popped into Kamijo's mind. He vaguely remembered putting it into his closet to prepare for that night's event...well, he better go make sure. Kamijo abruptly got up from the bed, earning many disappointed whimpers from Miyavi. "Oh shut up, I'm getting lube," he said as he stalked towards the previously mentioned closet.

Teru froze. SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT. He took in his surroundings, noticing an abandoned blanket in the corner. He quickly huddled into the corner and covered himself with the blanket, making sure to peek out ever so slightly.

Kamijo approached, just centimeters away from where Teru was hiding.

Teru looked through the little hole, seeing the glory that was a very naked Kamijo with a very hard cock. Teru mentally slapped himself for thinking such thoughts.

Kamijo grabbed a bottle from the very top shelf (giving Teru an even clearer view of his nether regions), and returned to his lover so patiently awaiting his return.

"Finally!" Miyavi growled, pinning his little Kami-chan to the bed yet again. He snatched up the lube and applied a liberal amount to his fingers before pushing one into Kamijo's arse.

Kamijo groaned loudly just as Teru found the third button and snapped it open, revealing his arousal. He began stroking his shaft hard and fast, eager to find release before Kamijo found him. And if Kamijo did find him, Teru would make sure that it wasn't with a full hard on.

Miyavi added another finger, pushing them in and out, and curling them with every thrust. He tapped something deep inside Kamijo that made Kamijo see stars and cry out in intense ecstasy.

"You ready, Kami-chan?" Miyavi inquired, removing his fingers completely.

"Oh just shut the hell up and fuck me."

"As you wish, Kami-sama." With that, Miyavi spread the remaining lube onto his own shaft, biting his lip from the pleasure of his own touch. He pushed into Kamijo slowly, making absolutely sure that he wasn't in any pain. When he was in to the hilt, he asked, "Kamijo, you okay?" He resisted the urge to just pound into the vocalist.

"Tch, I'm fine! Move, damn it!"

Something in Miyavi's mind snapped. He began to pound ruthlessly into the sexy man below him, only focusing on the tightness surrounding his throbbing member.

Teru was so very close to achieving his orgasm. He was so close to the edge that he had to bite his lip to silence his moans. He tasted the tang of copper on his tongue, a little trickle of blood dripping from his lip. His hand moved faster along his erection, trying to speed things up.

Under Miyavi, Kamijo was moaning so loudly that he swore that everyone in Tokyo could hear him. Kamijo was close too. Miyavi rolled them over so that Kamijo was on top, never disconnecting their hips.

Teru finally reached his orgasm, spilling his seed into his white skinny jeans. Waves of pleasure brushed through his entire body as he began to recover from his sexual high.

Kamijo moved up and down on Miyavi's body, kitting his sweet spot with every single thrust. Miyavi moved his hips up to meet Kamijo's between one of his thrusts and that was enough to push Kamijo over the edge. His orgasm ripped through him like a tidal wave and when his inner walls tightened around Miyavi, the guitarist came as well.

Kamijo collapsed on top of his beloved, basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Miyavi stroked his soft hair that Kamijo worked so hard to make absolutely perfect, pressing him even closer to himself. The vocalist laid his head against Miyavi's chest, both of them falling asleep almost instantly.

Teru waited about ten minutes before deciding that now would be a good time to sneak out of Kamijo's room. He shut the door as quietly as possible behind him, sprinting down the hall towards the room he shared with Hizaki, Yuki, and Jasmine.

After the Live --

Kamijo smiled sweetly at Teru. "Hey Teru-chan, I thought you were going to curl your hair for this live," he said, ruffling the guitarist's hair.

All of their other band mates had gone back to the room already, leaving Teru and Kamijo alone. Noticing that everyone was gone, Kamijo leaned next to Teru's ear. "Teru-chan, you left your keys in my closet."

Teru gaped at him, blushing profusely.

Kamijo grinned slyly at him. "Y'know, next time, just join us."

The white-haired guitarist ran for his life.

okay let's try that again.

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 06:36:20 GMT

Title: Stubborn
Author: aquachism
Genre: smut, attempted humor
Pairing: KandaxLavi
Rating: NC-17
Comments: This is a very, very old one. In fact, I do believe this was my first yaoi smut attempt. I appologize in advance -_-

Stubborn

Kanda was always a stubborn asshole.

“Hey Yuu…”

Kanda sighed and reluctantly looked up from his book. “…Yes?”

The bookman pounced into Kanda’s lap and looked up at him with puppy eyes so sweet that it would have made anyone, except for Yuu Kanda, melt into a puddle of mush. “Why am I always the uke?”

Kanda’s eyes widened considerably. “Tch.” He looked back down at his book, completely ignoring the question.

“Answer me!”

“No.”

“Please, Yuu?” The redhead flipped his beloved Kanda’s book onto the floor, allowing the hardback cover to seal the pages against one another.

“What a stupid question.” Kanda scoffed, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow slightly.

The bookman knew that if this was a battle of words, Kanda would win hands down. He needed to somehow really get his point across. Lavi mentally slapped himself for not thinking of this sooner. He smirked at the Japanese exorcist.

“…Lavi? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Lavi pushed at Kanda’s shoulders, pinning him down underneath his body.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Kanda strained at his arms, trying to get free from under Lavi. He knew exactly where this was going. He didn’t like it one bit. He'd topped ever since they started this twisted relationship and he wasn't about to be topped.

Lavi pressed his lips to his lover’s and pushed his tongue between Yuu’s soft pink lips.

Kanda refused to respond to the kiss. He was getting hard, his body betraying him, but like hell he was going to let Lavi be seme.

Lavi deepened the kiss, getting a little bit concerned with his plan now that Kanda wasn’t doing anything. Experimentally, he rubbed their fabric clad hips together.

Kanda would not give Lavi the satisfaction. He bit down, forgetting that Lavi’s tongue was still exploring inside.

“Ouch! Shit, Yuu. That hurt!” Lavi squeaked, touching his index finger to the drop of blood that had formed on his tongue.

One of Kanda’s arms were free now. Oh, that little bastard is going to pay for this. I’ll fuck the living daylights out of him. In one fluid motion, their positions had switched, Kanda now atop the redhead.

“Damn it.” Was all Lavi said. Even though he had lost the battle for dominance, a bit of a sly smile was plastered on his face, fully knowing that either way, he'd get release.

“You wanna know why you’re always the uke?” Kanda questioned as he kissed Lavi’s cheek. “I’ll show you why I’m the seme.” Kanda pressed his knee in between Lavi’s legs.

Lavi groaned at the contact, any desire for being the on top completely gone for now.

“See? Only I can give you this pleasure.”

Kanda pushed on his knee again.

“and only you can take it.”

Lavi humped against Kanda's knee a bit.

Kanda swiftly removed his knee and began unbuttoning the apprentice’s black jacket. He make short work of it, tossing it carelessly to the side, landing not-so-neatly on a chair. His lips pressed against Lavi’s, an insatiable desire driving him mad.

Lavi’s hands made their way to the tie that held the swordsman’s hair in an extremely tight ponytail. He snapped it, warm midnight locks cascading down to cover his shoulders.

Yuu’s matching Black Order uniform, pants and all, was discarded to form a pile by Lavi’s jacket. The great Yuu Kanda was stripped to his boxers, with a very prominent bulge making them a bit too tight in the ass.

The rest of Lavi’s clothes, including his boxers were tossed into that same pile.

The ill-tempered swordsman kissed his way down Lavi’s chest, giving each pert nipple a tiny lick before moving on.

Lavi squirmed a bit, whimpering lightly.

When Kanda reached his destination and began sucking vigorously, Lavi let out a loud groan, aching his back into the touch. His member had undoubtedly enjoyed the treatment. Kanda licked at the base, nipping a bit at the flesh he found there.

“Ngh. Y-Yuu! Stop I-it. I’m supposed t-to be the seme.”

“Not a chance.”

Kanda licked at the slit at the top of Lavi’s shaft, eliciting a load moan from the redhead. He pumped his hand up and down vigorously, making wet noises that just made him more aroused.

“Ah, Yuu, I’m gonna come! Aw, shiiiit.”

Lavi shook as his orgasm began to overtake him. Waves of pleasure rushed through his veins as he spilled his load onto Kanda’s face and all over his own stomach.

Kanda touched a bit of Lavi’s seed on his face, and licked the finger clean. He then lapped up the rest of the come on Lavi’s flat, toned stomach. Mmmm Kanda's tongue felt so incredibly amazing to the bookman, leaving no spot dry or anything.

“Heh, you get hard fast.” Kanda smirked.

“Shut up.”

Without warning, Kanda flipped Lavi onto his hands and knees and pushed into him hard.

“Oh, damn, Yuu!” Lavi screamed from the pressure on his prostate.

The lack of preparation made the friction all the more prominent and the pleasure spicier. Besides, both of them liked it rough from time to time.

Kanda slammed against Lavi’s prostate as much as he possibly could, throwing his head back in ecstasy.

The pleasure became almost unbearable to Lavi to the point where he thought he would pass out. But oh, please, oh god, Yuu don’t stop!

Kanda slowed his pace down by half but doubled with power behind his thrusts.

“Shit, Lavi.”

About five more thrusts and Kanda sped up again, pounding into Lavi as hard as he could.

Kanda began pumping Lavi in time with his thrusts and after that, Lavi didn’t last long at all.

He came hard all over the floor and Kanda came soon after.

Coming down from their high, Kanda stretched, pulling Lavi against him and trying to catch his breath.

Lavi pulled out of Kanda’s arms and gathered up his clothes, getting dressed quickly. He smiled wickedly, ignoring the sleep that wanted to overtake him.

“Where the hell are you going?” Kanda questioned, aghast.

“Since compromising didn’t work, maybe threatening will. No sex until you apologize to me publicly.” He smiled innocently, blowing a little kiss at his beloved Yuu.

“No, wait, Lavi!”

Oh yes, Kanda was always a stubborn asshole...except when he was denied sex.

Fic Posting

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 05:53:10 GMT

I was just about to post fics...when I realized...that I have no idea how to XD. I'll figure out some way to do it, but if anyone would like to offer me some help, I would love you forever.

Whew finally.

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 05:47:14 GMT

I've been telling myself forever that I would make a livejournal.
I'm kinda hoping it will motivate me to write more XD
So I've decided that I'll use this for my fics, but also for other random stuff.